Flight of Fancy! Birdman of Blackpool.

One day my daughter, Susan, came home from school and said “Dad, can we build a plane?”...

Friends Joanne (nee Durham), Ian Holland, Me, daughter, Susan and son David, holding a flying Peter!

Now, I like to think that I am good at paper planes, even if I do have only one shape...the dart.

“No problem” I replied, reaching for a sheet of foolscap.

“No” said Susan, “I mean a real one, a big one.” 

And she really did mean a really big one.

Susan had volunteered that Arnold School would enter into the Blackpool Round Table “Birdman” competition. This would entail making some sort of aircraft and jumping off North Pier with it.

It was decided that Wiseman's Accountants would partner Arnold in the project as this would give me an excuse to access clients and thus, hopefully, to cash contributions for the charity sponsorship.

We needed expertise and brought onboard a good Badminton friend Paul Pringle. Paul worked at Aerospace and possessed the skills to design and oversee the project.

Others were involved, such as Dave Kirkham our joiner friend, together with other handy friends Ian Holland and Stewart Pickering.  Doug Tait, aided by son Andrew, provided transport.

Paul came up with a design of a plane that had a 36ft wingspan. It had to be big enough to take the weight of a person.

Paul Pringle with wife Geraldine

The next weight problem was that one person had to pick up the plane and run down a plank on the pier, and jump into the sea, holding it. I eventually sourced some 20ft Bamboo Poles from Whitehaven and managed to tie then to my car roof rack, whilst towing a trailer to prevent overhang onto other traffic.

We emptied our 23ft lounge so that we could work on one wing at a time. When finished, the two wings had to be securely fastened to the body.

Once we outgrew the lounge, we had to move quickly, so we then covered the plane in Blackpool Evening Gazette Newspapers soaked in wallpaper paste, so that they stretched when dried. This helped us get publicity from the Gazette which featured the picture below in our garden!

Son David helping with the wallpaper paste

Later we painted the wings white and then Arnold School  students covered the whole thing in fantastic designs. These included Donald Duck, Postman Pat, etc together with pictures of Princess Di, Cliff Richard, John McEnroe etc. My wife, Marjorie provided three course meals for up to 14 people at a time!

Because we wanted to use a flare on take-off I had to clear this with the Lifeboat Secretary, Liverpool Coastguard and Blackpool Police.

When the big day arrived, we had Arnold Girls acting as Pom Pom Girls and an Arnold boy, (Peter Thompson) as pilot.

As we were preparing for take off, my friend Ian Holland appeared on scene, dressed as the Dreaded VATMAN. He confiscated the plane saying that we had not paid the VAT. 

At this point I shed my heavy coat to reveal that I was no other than SUPERMAN (who happened to work for Wiseman's Accountants).

An arm wrestling match took place, narrowly won by Superman.

Unfortunately the day was very windy and the organisers decided that our plane, by far the largest of the 30 entries, was too big to be launched safely, so we were grounded.

Having realised that this was a possibility we produced a 12” wooden plane and our pilot gamely ran the boards and jumped into the sea with this. A pity really as we were sure we could have made the Isle of Man.

We raised about £620 (2025=£2000) for charity and were awarded two prizes, one for the “Most Sponsorship,” and one for the “Most entertaining take-off”. Needless to say we handed the prize money back to the charity.

The Blackpool Evening Gazette featured the Competition and, in particular, our entry. They included a photo of our plane, covered in “Gazettes”. This sparked correspondence between myself and the Gazette General Manager, my good friend Tony Shaw.

Following a good write up the week before the flight, the Gazette General Manager wrote to me as follows:-

Dear Mr Wiseman,

I read with surprise and indignation last nights article in my newspaper regarding your proposed flight of fancy. I only wish that I had seen it before publication, because your inferences caused me to feel both distressed and angry. 

You are apparently intent on informing the public at large that you consider the Gazette to be a light weight paper, by implying that it will have no difficulty in flying. The efforts of 300 people who work hard here do so to inform and defend the populace.

To find our product wrapped around about three miles of bamboo is distressing. However, I do hope that you successfully make it to the Isle of Man and that, once there, you apply for political asylum.

On reflection it might be better if your monstrous machine only makes it half way.

I remain Sir, Yours Indignantly,

R A Shaw

Managing Director

It would have been rude not to reply!!

Dear Mr Shaw (One of my best friends!!!),

I was not surprised to receive your letter, which typifies the very reasons why, since England won the World Cup in 1966, the county's standards have been going backwards.

We have seen electricians refusing to pick up spades, and accountants refusing to brew tea. It comes as no shock to find that the MD of a once distinguished newspaper has the audacity to decree that his paper is only for reading.

The use made by our ancestors in outside privys comes to mind, if not to hand. Your arrogant assumption is difficult to reconcile with a letter that I have received from the President of the Blackpool South Shore Federation of Fish Fryers and Chip Wrappers, who were most upset when you reduced their quota of Gazettes to accommodate our plane building.

I am led to the conclusion that you would be better with more blank pages in your journal. This would reduce production costs and the cost to the public.

It would also enable people to enjoy more free time to revert to those old fashions skills such as the art of conversation or the playing of cards, both being attributes that you appear to lack.

I sign myself “Reluctant Reader”

J. Neville Wiseman

Those were very daft days, filled with silly antics, hard work and laughter!

In the front garden before departure. Other emblems included the school logo, L Plates, a Lancashire Rose, Mr Bump, This Way Up, Help... and a rainbow.

The journey back from the pier was eventful and involved me holding up the traffic on the promenade to enable our oversized vehicle to get through. I did this by revealing my superman outfit. This comprised red underpants, climbing socks and pillow case (cape), worn over a blue tracksuit, which Susan had sewn a Superman emblem onto! We certainly stopped the traffic!

If you enjoyed this blog please scroll down and 'like' it, rate it, or comment on it. It helps motivate me to keep blogging! NN